Drawn by: Neal Sternecky
A hot summer day in Hollywood. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot are walking along the Hollywood Walk of Fame, in front of Slappy's star (with a blob of chewing gum stuck to it), near the intersection of Jones and Avery Streets. Yakko has on a coat and Acme Power Tie (complete with 110-volt plug). Wakko's wearing a cowboy outfit and has a hobby horse in hand (whose tongue is hanging out). Dot's wearing a pink robe and a pink towel turbaned around her ears, cucumbers over her eyes, and is holding a 14-karat gold water bottle.
Yakko says, "Hey, babe! Join us at The Ranch! A fancy-schmancy Hollywood health spa!" Wakko replies, "Health spa?" Dot observes, "You really have to start coming to rehearsal..."
The Warners decide they're tired and need rejuvenation. Dot discovers an ad for Ranch Lotta-Doh in Pose Magazine, and they raid their piggy bank to make the trip. They take the bus to the ranch, and arrive to no reception at all, so they go looking for someone who works there. Instead, they find an orientation class for new employees, and are mistaken for that themselves. They play along, and are assigned duties around the ranch.
Dot, who gets called "Muffy" by the supervisor, Ken, is assigned to the mud spa. She gives a guest a cold hot-tub bath, then substitutes a watermelon for the cucumber that's supposed to be used to relax the guest's eyes and leaves to help Yakko. Yakko (who Ken calls "Chip") is in the kitchen, and needs greens for the lunch salad, so he uses the seaweed from the mud bath. Dot and Yakko make everything imaginable out of seaweed. Wakko ("Feldspar") is in the Zen Room leading a meditation session when Dot and Yakko drop through a skylight and turn all the guests into clowns, put them to sleep with mallets, and then dance the limbo with them all.
Ken shows up, chews the Warners out for all the bad things they've done with the guests, and fires them all. Yakko points out that they were never hired in the first place. The guests who have supposedly been mistreated all come and tell the Warners what wonderful things they've done, and they wind up staying at the ranch for free.
Yakko's box: "1 gross Acme Instant Water Balloons: Just Add Water". Wakko is reading a ZZZ-Men comic book. The cover shows Wolverine's head on a pillow. Colin, Randy Beaman's friend, is on the bus. Chicken Boo is lounging on the sun deck, and everyone (including a horse) is using cellular telephones in the arrival panel.
Wakko's eyebrows aren't colored in when he's frowning. (page 7) Yakko's pants are white in one panel in the kitchen. (page 8) Yakko's pants disappear altogether between the time Ken picks him up and the first panel on page 13. (AM) Two of the meditating mimes in the final panel have black noses instead of red. (page 14)This story is adapted from the cartoon of the same name.
While the Brain is concocting tonight's plan to take over the world, Pinky is watching The Honeymooners. He annoys the Brain by repeatedly saying, "Bang! Zoom! Right in the kisser!" The Brain finally gets his attention, and they escape the cage to study the plan, which involves causing a magnetic reaction strong enough to stick everyone to the ground. There's a catch, of course: They need a part that costs $99,000 to complete the project.
The TV, which has been on all this time, shows a contestant on the show Gyp-Parody missing a question that would have won her $99,000. This inspires the Brain, who decides to go on the show and win the money. He builds a large mechanical suit, and goes to the TV station in it.
The Brain, who the host keeps calling Brian, answers every question correctly until the last one, which is for $99,000: "What TV character said 'Bang! Zoom! Right in the kisser!'?"
Cultural references for the cartoon version of this story are discussed in the WebCRGA entry for Animaniacs episode 2, which contains this story. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot are in the TV studio audience, and Ralph is looking for them. Gyp-Parody is a reference to the TV game show Jeopardy; the same reference was used in the cartoon. The host of Gyp-Parody has a variable number of fingers. (page 23) Back at the lab, Pinky's "We could win money on that!" is written with a ? at the end. (page 24)Yakko, Wakko, and a large mechanical shark are riding a tidal wave that's about to soak everyone in sight. Dot points out that a story can't start that way, so...Flashback:
A new plumber arrives at the studio. Plotz tells him about the movies scheduled for production today: Dancin' in the Drizzle, Fish-Fangs IX, and the sequel to The Towering Tidal Wave. He orders the plumber to check out the entire water system. The first check is at the water tower, where the plumber discovers the pressure is low, so he opens the inlet valve.
The Warners happen to be inside the tower, and get flooded...so they decide to have a little fun. They pull the drain plug and get sucked into the studio piping, coming out in inconvenient places: Dot on the set of Dancin' in the Drizzle during filming, Wakko in the infirmary bathtub, and Yakko in the ladies' room drinking fountain. There's water all over the studio lot.
Meanwhile, Plotz explains the problem with filling the water tower to the plumber, and the Warners ride another tidal wave out of it, onto the set of Fish Fangs IX. The shark appears right on cue, and the Warners ride it back off the set, on the tidal wave from the first panel. End of flashback...
The plumber is transferred to a drier department, and the Warners still torment him.
The movie names are references to hit movies: Dancin' in the Drizzle refers to Singin' in the Rain (which is a common reference in the cartoons); Fish-Fangs IX refers to the Jaws series; and The Towering Tidal Wave refers to The Towering Inferno. Wakko winds up wearing the bikini top from the actress in Fish Fangs IX. Dot and Yakko's hairlines extend all the way down to their noses in a couple of places. (page 25, 29, 32) The Warners' eyes are very inconsistently drawn; both the overall shape and the size of the highlight vary widely throughout the story. The highlights in the Warners' noses are also colored in in several places. Only one of Wakko's ears sticks out from his army helmet. (page 26) Wakko magically grows a pair of pants in one frame. (page 26) I hope they don't pipe water to light fixtures at Warner Brothers... (page 29) Yet another inconsistency: Dot's flower has a variable number of petals, from four to six. (pages 25, 29, 30) Finally, a story complaint: The synopsis above reads poorly because it follows the story. I haven't seen choppier writing in a long time.